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How to make a relationship last

We asked Mindset Coach Nikki What Are The Fundamentals of a Strong, Healthy Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

Entering the world of speed dating can be exhilarating. You get a few minutes to make a first impression, to spark a connection, and to potentially meet someone who could become a significant part of your life. But once the whirlwind of speed dating settles, how do you build a relationship that stands the test of time? Here are the fundamentals of creating a strong, healthy, and long-lasting relationship, tailored specifically to those ready to meet their long term significant other.

Let’s see how many of these you rank highly in!






1. Effective Communication

Why It’s Important: Communication is the backbone of any relationship. Without it, misunderstandings can arise, leading to unnecessary conflicts.

How to Practice It:

  • Be Honest: From the very beginning, be open about your intentions, desires, and boundaries.

  • Active Listening: Pay attention to your partner’s words and emotions. Show empathy and understanding.

  • Express Appreciation: Regularly acknowledge and appreciate your partner’s efforts and qualities.


2. Emotional Intelligence

Why It’s Important: Emotional intelligence involves being aware of and managing your emotions and understanding and influencing the emotions of others.

How to Practice It:

  • Self-Awareness: Recognize your own emotional triggers and responses.

  • Empathy: Put yourself in your partner’s shoes to understand their perspective.

  • Emotional Regulation: Manage your emotions in a healthy way, especially during conflicts.


3. Trust and Reliability

Why It’s Important: Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. Without trust, insecurity and doubt can erode the bond between partners.

How to Practice It:

  • Consistency: Be reliable and keep your promises, especially the small ones!

  • Transparency: Share your thoughts and feelings honestly.

  • Support: Be there for your partner in good times and hard times. 


4. Shared Values and Goals

Why It’s Important: The way you spend your time, your weekends & your energy. If they are very different, you are more likely to have disagreements over these elements of your relationship.

How to Practice It:

  • Discuss Your Values: Talk about what’s important to you, such as family, career, and personal growth.

  • Set Goals Together: Plan for the future and work towards common objectives.

  • Respect Differences: While shared values are important, respecting and embracing each other’s differences can also enhance your relationship.


5. Quality Time

Why It’s Important: It helps create connection, emotional safety and presence in the relationship, which will of course lead to better intimacy!

How to Practice It:

  • Prioritise Each Other: Make time for regular dates and shared activities.

  • Be Present: Give your partner your full attention during your time together.

  • Create Memories: Engage in activities that you both enjoy and create lasting memories.


6. Healthy Conflict Resolution

Why It’s Important: Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. How you handle it can make or break your bond. Conflict is always an opportunity for connection, not disconnection. (So many couples go wrong here!).

How to Practice It:

  • Stay Calm: Approach conflicts with a calm and open mind.

  • Listen and Validate: Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and viewpoints.

  • Find Solutions: Work together to find compromises and solutions that satisfy both of you.


7. Mutual Respect and Independence

Why It’s Important: Seeing your partner for who they are, not who you want them to be, helps them respect you more and feel more accepted by you.

How to Practice It:

  • Encourage Growth: Support each other’s personal growth and interests.

  • Maintain Independence: Have time and activities apart to nurture your own identities.

  • Respect Boundaries: Understand and respect each other’s boundaries.



Things that may block you from achieving this type of relationship 

If you have unresolved issues from the past, like childhood trauma, trust issues from previous relationships or insecurities and ego blocks. These are common and happen to us all, and unfortunately can damage and destroy relationships permanently. If you feel you’re ready for a relationship like I described in this blog but you know you’re ready for some support with resolving some of your previous challenges, I’m here to help you!

Book your free complimentary consultation call here:

Or DM me on Instagram using the word CHEEKY @nikkiofficially

Speed dating is a fantastic way to meet potential partners, but building a lasting relationship requires effort, commitment, and a strong foundation. By focusing on effective communication, emotional intelligence, trust, shared values, quality time, healthy conflict resolution, and mutual respect, you can create a relationship that not only survives but thrives.


Remember, the journey to a strong, healthy, and long-lasting relationship starts with understanding and practicing these fundamentals. Whether you’ve just met someone or are deep into a relationship, these principles can help you build a bond that stands the test of time.


Author: Nikki Evans, Trauma Specialist and Mindset Coach. Owner of Mind Health School.


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