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Is he really into you or just passing the time?This is what my guy mates said…

A photo of me and my partner in crime at last weekend's sold out Halloween boat party with 450 guests on board!

Have you ever felt confused about where something was heading? Frequently questioning and looking for evidence to back up whether they really do like you? I know I have! Have you ever had that niggling feeling that he likes you but doesn't REALLY REALLY like you? Again, I know I have!

Four months ago, I found myself doing the whole he must fancy me because he always looks at my Instagram stories, likes my Facebook photos and he sometimes even leaves flirty voice notes on WhatsApp? Plus, he continued to reply to messages even after we hooked up so, it can't be just about doing the deed?

So then, why was it that 6 weeks in I felt like I didn't even truly know the real him? And he definitely didn't know anything personal about me or even show that he wanted to! Why was I always the one to suggest a time and place to next meet up? Why was it that I never met any of his mates and vice versa? Why did it feel like he was only ever responding and not initiating conversations both via text and in person? And why is it when I tried to see him twice in one week he would me feel like I was being needy, replying that he simply didn't, "have the time," to do so? GIRL, YOU'RE IN A SITUATIONSHIP! AND YOU KNOW IT!

Truthfully, we already know when someone is equally invested in us as we are them. We know they ask personal questions about our childhood and take a vested interest in our hobbies, they will want to meet and better still impress our friends. They will go out of their way to bond with our very cheeky puppy.

If you're confused about how much someone likes you, then the answer is not a lot! They're obviously keeping their options open or potentially looking for something more casual. (FYI there's nothing wrong with casual, just please be upfront from the start!)

A photo of 4 lovely guests mingling at one of our famous single mixers in Randwick.

Even though we know ourselves when our needs are not being met, it's totally normal to run things through with the girl gang or in my case my 4068 Cheeky Events Instagram followers. Also, owning an events business means I now have a lot of lovely male friends to seek dating advice from and this is what they had to say:

Cheri: Guys, how will a girl know if she's in a "situationship" or a relationship with you?

30 anonymous male friends: It'll be obvious!

Cheri: Ha! Please be more specific!

30 anonymous male friends: If we see a future with you we will MAKE TIME to see you 2 or 3 times per week as well as planning nice dinners out and doing activities (outside the bedroom) together.

Cheri: Anything else?

30 anonymous male friends: If we initiate the chat and physical affection, you know we're keen! If we follow through with any plans we make, you know we're keen! If you make it onto our socials and meet our mates then you know we are really keen!

Cheri: You're right, that does seem obvious and yet we do kid ourselves sometimes about where something is heading and waste our valuable time on the wrong people! Ok, so from a male perspective, how do you know when a girl is keen?

30 anonymous male friends: A girl will show signs of jealousy usually. For example, show she's bothered that you're still on dating apps. Also, if she's looking to spend a lot of time with you, messages when she's drunk and out with her girls.

Cheri: Any other clues that we are exhibiting without even realising?

30 anonymous male friends: When she posts photos of you on her social media and her friends know about you then we know the girl likes us. Plus, we can tell she's getting more and more comfortable and used to each other's company.

Well, there you have it! You don't need me to interview 30 male singletons and send you a blog on spotting the signs of a situationship because YOU ALREADY KNOW if the guy values your time and is in it for the long run. So stop doubting your intuition and hoping he changes his mind. If it doesn't feel right from the start then sack it off. Remember, the reason we finally end up calling it off (usually) was for something we could have spotted early on.

Now, enjoy the week ahead and keep those standards high!

xx Cheri

P.S. When you're ready to meet like-minded Sydney singles, who are open to more and clear on what they want (we even use colour coded cups at our boat parties to help with this), drop us a message on Instagram or via our website and let's get you down to one of our very Cheeky Events.

A photo of our lovely guests mingling at one of our famous single mixers in Bondi Junction.

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